I think the reason why I struggle with this is because who I am changes, sometimes daily. So to pinpoint a specific element to be the fiber of my being is impossible. Is it acceptance I'm looking for instead? There are people out there who like me and there are ones who don't. That is OK with me; I cannot be liked by everyone. Once I figured that out, life became so much simpler.
Going through all of this in my head helped me deal with a lot of issues I had in my life. So who am I? I dunno. I am who I am, so it doesn't bother me that I can't put a label on it. As far as acceptance, I get it from those who matter. It all boils back down to one thing for me, my family. They are who I am.